Ah, Spring! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, our kitchen is...
A mess.
An overwhelming, drawer-bulging, disorganized mess. Our motto with food is often, "more is more," but when it comes to our kitchen, our cabinets overfloweth, and our anxiety groweth.
Thus we present to you a short guide to help other Gastronomistas separate the wheat from the chaff. We suggest you grab an Extra Large Hefty bag and get to tossing!
The Apple Slicer
We’ve got to hand it to this gizmo - it makes a pleasing sound when tossed backwards over our heads. Otherwise, we can’t see how this item is useful. When it’s new and sharp enough to actually cut through an apple, it will unfailingly leave you with at least 30% of the core. After 5 uses, though, it no longer even deigns to slice without prodigious elbow grease. Our advice? Pick up a knife. Or, hey, get a little wild - eat that apple whole!
The Rice Steamer
Ah, the Rice Steamer: a large, cumbersome, plastic device that takes up a lot of space and makes only rice. Guess what else is a rice steamer? A pot. A pot is also kind enough to agree to cook other things, from stews to pasta. Kick that rice steamer to the curb. Think of all of the cabinet space you'll free up for genuinely useful items.
The Tea Ball
This item is perfect for tea enthusiasts who love picking leaves out of their teeth. The concept is great, and we adore the lack of waste, but sadly, this item just never, ever works.
The Salad Spinner
We know we will incite the rage of many home chefs by insulting this item, but hear us out. Our kitchens just aren't that large. A Salad Spinner is. Use a colander and a kitchen towel to wash and dry your leaves, then reward yourself by buying a nice big salad bowl that you suddenly have storage space for.
The Egg Cracker
Cracking eggs! SO HARD, are we right? No... we're not. If you can't successfully crack an egg without a spring-loaded device, please, for the sake of us all, get out of the kitchen. Run, don't walk. The infomercial for this gizmo is very useful, though... for a laugh.