Gastronomista: Chicks, Man

The Honey Bee

In the springtime, joyous spring-
time,
When the birds begin to sing,
And we hear the murmuring brook-
lets,
Then the bees are on the wing.
When the long, cold days are over
Bees are out to sip the dew
And the nectar from the clover,
Buttercups and daisies blue.

Supers placed above the beehive
For the honey bee to find,
Will be filled if showers are given
To the flowers of every kind.
Then the bees are kind and gentle
"Take it hog," they seem to say;
"We will work again the harder
After the next rainy day.

"And we'll fill again the super,
We don't mind with you to share,
Early morn will find us busy
Gathering honey everywhere.
We just gladly gather honey,
And the wax from off our back
We produce, now is'nt it funny,
No material do we lack.

"For our queen cells we have polen,
Any egg a queen may be,
From the proper food and cover,
We produce a queen, you see.
If some drones we wish for mating,
Other food we must supply,
Just the food we give while waiting
For their hatching by and by."

"But when frost on field and hillside,
In the autumn kills the flower,
And in vain we search for honey,
In each glen and leafy bower,
Then in every hive is stationed
Guards to watch our winter's store,
For if you would rudely take it,
We would search in vain for more.

"And we sting with all our fury,
Take our honey if you dare,
For we want to keep from starving
In the winter, so beware."
There's a moral we may gather
From the busy bee for all,
Gather food stuff in the summer,
And protect it in the fall.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Chicks, Man

Dear Ira Glass,

When anyone asks us the age-old party question, "If you could pick one person to have dinner with, who would it be?" our answer is always, "OH MY GOD. Ira Glass." We always pictured that we would devise a somewhat aspirational feast for you, with each course having it's own little back story. And you would be so interested in every mundane detail of what we had prepared and why, and then we would just sit there, letting the sweet sounds of your voice wash over us. Importantly, when devising our menu for this greatest of all dinners, we now know to steer clear of chicken.

..

...

So, walking around Karen Davis' farm, was this your cast of characters?

The Unattainably Popular One

The Humorless National Honors Society President

The Stoner Surfers

The Cute, Bashful Hipster

The Dissapointed Father

The Annoying, Bitchy One

The Awkward, Angsty Nietzsche-reading Teen

The Gullible One

The Up-at-the-crack-of-dawn, Yogurt-eating Marathon Running One

The Hungover One, The One in Need of a Bloody Mary

7 comments:

JakeNovember 9, 2009 at 11:07 PM
I've got to say this is brilliant
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ibugyellowNovember 10, 2009 at 2:48 AM
LOL@the unattainable popular one!
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AnonymousNovember 10, 2009 at 10:13 AM
I'd love to see these turned into a chicken webcomic.
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yummychummyNovember 10, 2009 at 4:49 PM
i LOVE these!
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Ellen DNovember 11, 2009 at 10:57 PM
ROFL WTF IS THIS
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gravelandNovember 12, 2009 at 11:51 AM
oww the gullible^^
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Anne KelleyNovember 12, 2009 at 5:35 PM
Haha, the Smug One, the Hungover Chicken! This post totally made me laugh out loud. :-D
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