Thursday, March 4, 2010

A Little Fermented Curd Will Do the Trick

In the Monty Python’s Flying Circus skit “The Cheese Shop,” (third season, 1972), John Cleese is “Mousebender,” a guy who finds himself peckish… esurient… hungry… and, as he says, “I thought to myself, 'a little fermented curd will do the trick'. So I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles.”

Mousebender proceeds to ask Michael Palin as “Wensleydale,” the owner of the National Cheese Emporium, for a litany of cheeses, impressively and exhaustingly requested by name, none of which they have, but for which all of them there is an excuse. And then Mousebender does what any sane man in search of some cheese in a cheeseless cheese shop would do: he shoots the shopkeeper in the head.

The full request: Red Leicester, Tilsit, Caerphilly, Bel Paese, Red Windsor, Stilton, Emmenthal, Gruyere, Norwefian Jarlsberger, Liptauer, Lancashire, White Stilton, Danish Blue, Double Gloucester, Cheshier, Dorset Blue Vinney, Brie, Roquefort, Pont-l'Évêque, Port Salut, Savoyard, Saint-Paulin, Carre-de-L'Est, Bresse-Bleu, Boursin, Camembert, Gouda, Edam, Caithness, Smoked Austrian, Japanese Sage Derby, Wensleydale, Greek Feta, Gorgonzola, Parmesal, Mozzarella, Pippo Crème, Danish Fimboe, Czech sheep’s milk, Venezuelan Beaver Cheese, Cheddar, Ilchester and Limberger.

Want some wine with that cheese? See Monty Python’s Philosopher’s Wine Song. We love these boys.

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