Bottle Art Redux

Many years ago, I was obsessed with Absolut Ads.  I used to rip them out of the magazines of the school library, and file them away for safe keeping (sorry about that, dear librarians).  I was always amazed by the creativity and execution of the advertisements - and the concept of a blank slate being continuously modified. 

I have been wowed again by Absolut, and this time by their Absolut Unique concept where each bottle is uniquely painted in both a fun and stunningly gorgeous way. And just like when I was a teenager feverishly seeking out those classic ads, I want them all.

 

I'm not kidding.  

xxG

Gastronomista On Tumblr!

We've been collecting some of our favorite images over on our Tumblr page; Gastronomista, Plated & Served.  Give us a follow, we would be simply delighted!!!

xxG

The Art of Dessert - An Excerpt from The Decadent Cookbook

One of our favorite finds as of late is a lovely book called The Decadent Cookbook by Medlar Lucan and Dorian Gray; less cookbook per se, and more of a collection of historical and amusing recipes from bygone eras.  Peppered in the mix are delightful short stories about feasting and decadent eating.  Today, we bring you an excerpt from The Decadent Cookbook, a short story on the art of dessert.  
 

 Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf

by David Madsen

..........

"Your Holiness - ah - Your Eminences, I meant to say, of course! - my dear and very special guests! I offer you now the climax, the apotheosis, the summit of this rather unusual evening." 

He clapped his hands, and four servants entered the hall, bearing on their shoulders a massive silver dish, in which was heaped what looked like half the cream in Rome; it was decorated more richly than Leo's tiara, with bright red cherries, brown pine kernels, thin green strips of angelica, all kinds of nuts and berries, and was wound about with a great length of dried leaves that had been dipped in gold. The entire assembled company (including myself, I readily admit) drew in its breath.

Strozzi went on, clearly drunk:

"Ah, but all is not what it seems to be, my very dear and special friends! No indeed. What you see before you is but the phantasm of the thing itself - the accidents which occlude and conceal the substance, as our good Tomaso d' Aquino would have said. You see, Your Eminences? I am not entirely unversed in the queen of sciences. Excuse me, I digress. Yes, invisible to your eyes, most cherished guests, is a delight more subtle, more - what shall I say, what term to employ? - more sensuous (for that must surely be the word!) than the simple sweetness which mere appearances
promise. And let me give you a small clue, a tiny hint, so to speak, of the secret which is shortly to be revealed: I provide no implements for this, my final and most exquisite offering; you must
use only your tongues." 

And with that, he collapsed back in his chair. 

The dish was placed somewhat awkwardly in the centre of the table; for some moments we all sat and stared at it. Then Cardinal Salviati stood up, leaned as far as he could across the table, stuck out a greenish, corrugated tongue, and dipped the tip of it into the great mound of cream. He closed his eyes for a moment, licked his lips, then opened his eyes again and nodded. 

"Very delicious," he pronounced. "Very delicious indeed. Flavoured with grappa and wild honey, if I am not mistaken."

 "Bravo, Eminence!" Lorenzo Strozzi cried drunkenly. 

Embolded by Salviati' s initiative, several of the gentlemen and two of the ladies did likewise; they giggled and nudged each other as they extended their tongues to taste their host's culinary 'apotheosis.' The technique, awkward though it was, was clearly catching on. It fell to Cardinal Ridolfi however, to finally expose the 'secret' of the extraordinary dolce; bending across the table and
wiggling his tongue, he pushed it into the creamy mass only to withdraw it again with a piercing and womanly shriek. 

"It moved!" he cried. "God's bones, I tell you it moved! Ah! -"

There was a general commotion as it was observed that the great mound of decorated slop was indeed moving; it shuddered and wiggled, as if suddenly endowed with an alien life of its own. Clotted lumps of cream fell away, nuts and cherries flew off and showered onto the table. It seemed to be growing. Ridolfi by now was having an attack of the vapours, wiping his lips furiously with the back of his hand as though he had ingested poison; indeed, had this been a banquet given by Pope Alexander Vl Borgia, whose memory still haunted curial slumbers, it might well have been.

Everybody was at the thing now, licking and scraping the cream off as fast as they could; people were stretched out across the table, plates were pushed aside or even fell to the floor; there was screeching and laughing and vulgar gestures. I do not think I have ever seen so many protruding tongues in my life, and it is a spectacle I care never to witness again; human beings look utterly ridiculous with their tongues sticking out. Leo should ban people doing it in all papal states. As a matter of fact, I had entirely forgotten about Leo: he was slumped in his chair, spellbound by the goings on. His eyes bulged and watered. 

There was a young woman buried under that grotesque hillock of cream; furthermore, it quickly became obvious, as first a thigh was exposed, then a foot, a wetly glistening pink nipple, ... she was a very naked young woman. The cacophony of screaming and guffawing rapidly swelled in volume as people began to applaud. And still the tongues were at work, probing and wiggling and scraping lasciviously, lingeringly, across the smooth, pale flesh. 

.......... 

Published with permission from Dedalus Books, and many thanks to them!

Pink Drinks on Birch Box

It's almost Valentine's Day, a day that without fail makes us crave those tiny conversation hearts, too much chocolate, and Pink Drinks.  Check out our round up of our favorite rosy libations on Birch Box with nary a cosmo or a white-chocolate-raspberry-martini in sight!

Read it here!

Gastronomista Gift Guide - St. Valentine's Day

1.  This year get creative and give the gift of neon.  Yes, you heard us, neon.  Customizable in every way - you can write your own message, someone's name, or just keep it simple.  We love these neon pink kissers!

2.  Yeah yeah yeah, we get it, diamonds are expensive, but they are still Girl's Best Friend!  We adore the recycled glass diamonds made by Meg Myers. $45-60

3.  This is one of our new loves, Balvenie 12 year old Single Barrel.  Newly released, and awesomely delicious, this bottle is sure to bring a smile to your lover's face.  $70

4.  Flasks today can be so...cheap.  Invest in a gorgeous handmade copper flask for that someone who is particular about what they sip.  $125

5.  We love these Chocolate Salami - choose from Dried Cherry + Almond + Red Velvet Biscotti in Milk Chocolate Truffle, or Toasted Hazelnut + Biscotti in Dark Chocolate Truffle.  Yes Please.  $12

6.  Ladies, we know you need to keep all your essentials together - and we love this Lippy Red Leather Zip Pouch for all those stray bits.  $48

7.  Keep warm this valentines under a handsome red wool Camp Blanket by Topo Designs.  Great for snuggling at home or out in the wilderness.  $169

8.  There's nothing better than a fresh baguette, a slab of Delice, and a bottle of wine to share with your special someone.  Keep it tidy (and good looking) with a Sycamore Colorblocked Baguette Board.  $198

9.  We've done a bit of research on Pink Drinks here lately, and we have to say, they don't all suck.  This Valentines, mix up a Pink Gin, a Greyhound, a Figgy Manhattan, or a Bloodhound. Check out our round up of Pink Drinks post on Birch Box!!

10.   This one's for the high rollers:  Glenlivet Cellar Collection 1969.  We had the privilege to sip a few drams of this liquid gold, and we must say, whiskey is certainly better when it's older than you are.  $700

11.  Sweet notes never go ignored.  Some of the best ones are for Valentines Day, believe it or not.  Or better yet, get creative and pen your own.   Salt & Pepper card - $6

12.  Playing cards are one of those lost arts.  Instead of checking your phone while waiting for your Eggs Benedict, play a quick game of gin with your comrade.  We're smitten Misc. Goods Company's Playing Cards with gold backs.  $15

13.  We're predicting brooches making a big come back - pin it with this glossy red smooch brooch.  $30