Hellooo, Sailor

Lord knows, we sure love us some food made with booze. Killing two birds with one stone is so much more tasty when those birds are dredged in a savory, spiked marinade.

The good folks over at Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum are clearly kindred spirits.

We found ourselves at a backyard party in Brooklyn recently, huddled under a tent, oblivious to the monsoon-style rainstorm surrounding us because our mouths were stuffed with barbecue. Oh. My. Word. Those pulled-pork sandwiches! The tangy fried chicken! What weather?

Between bites, we located the sweet, tattooed hostess from Sailor Jerry. "Oh, the Spiced and Sweet BBQ Sauce? The recipe is on our website. We have a ton of them. Do you like it?"

To say the least.

Turns out, the Sailor Jerry blog is a virtual treasure trove of rum-soaked recipes. From soup to semifreddo, one could make a fantastic four-course meal using liberal splashes of the spicy quaff. They provide printable recipe cards adorned with sweet vintage tattoos, too, so you can fantasize that your old salty sea-dog uncle passed down that recipe for Bruschetta (one-eyed Uncle Petey sure loved his bruschetta!)

Rather than keep all of this goodness a secret, the Sailor Jerry team has commissioned a small, handsome fleet of gleaming Airstreams to spread the barbecue love to needy locals across the country. The Great American Road Trip in a shiny vintage Airstream plus barbecue plus unlimited rum? We're quitting our day jobs.

Keep your eyes peeled for a tatted-up trailer and a bevy of pin-up girls, and you may be lucky enough to find yourself washing down some boozy pulled pork with Jerry's take on the Dark and Stormy, "The Perfect Storm."

Don't be too surprised if you find yourself in the midst of one, as well.

xxGG

PSA: Sending Out the Pig Signal

We interrupt our regularly-scheduled programming to remind you to buy tickets to your local Cochon 555 event. 5 Chefs. 5 Pigs. 5 Winemakers. And you.

To the citizens of New York, Boston, Seattle, Napa, DC, Chicago, Denver, LA, New Orleans, San Francisco and Aspen: we are counting on you to save the world one whole-Heritage-pig-celebrating event at a time.

Rough Rider

any russian speakers want to translate?

Now there's a girl who knows what she wants. More cheeky illustrations by Russian artist Valery Barykin here.

We have a huge crush

on the guys behind The Butcher Blog.

We imagine that the writers of The Butcher Blog are burly urban woodsman types who know how to keep a girl warm at night (kind of like the plaid shirted hottie we saw so many years ago at the cheese counter of Stinky Brooklyn and have been thinking about ever since).

Since grilling season is gearing up, we caught up with the guys behind The Butcher Blog to get some practical tips on cooking in the urban environment. Now we’re just wondering when they’re inviting us over for some pork and Pork Slap…

Gastronomista: If you only have access to a fire escape, what do you need to cook well during grill season?

Butcher Blog: In New York City, you can legally grill as long as you have 10 feet clearance from the building. It is illegal to use propane on a terrace, roof or balcony, which suits us fine, since we firmly believe there should be a national law outlawing gas grills. You need charcoal, and a roof. If you only have a fire escape you need charcoal, a bucket with grill top, and a long pole.

G: What are the must-have tools? What grill? What charcoal?

BB: We're big Weber fans—simple, classic and easy to use. They have a bunch of different sizes too, so you can find one that fits your needs. A pair of long handled tongs are also essential. At no time should the classic BBQ fork get near your grill—piercing the sear is sacrilege and we die a little inside every time we see somebody wielding one of those things. A note about charcoal: Kingsford is not charcoal. Their reconstituted bricks don't get the job done and should always be avoided. We're big fans of Royal Oak (or any other natural wood charcoal) and we eschew the lighter fluid when possible in favor of a chimney. Also, you can spice things up a bit by grabbing some hickory wood chips, soaking them in water and throwing some on the hot coals just before cooking to get some nice smokiness going. Finally, if you're city grilling a fire extinguisher isn't a bad idea (and your neighbors will appreciate it too).

G: What cookbook should you use to guide you?

BB: Pork & Sons by Stéphane Reynaud has everything you need to prepare every part of the pig in every single way (from making your own sausage and terrines to barbecuing a whole suckling pig -- you'll need a Bushwick backyard and some cinderblocks for that one).

Editor's Note: We love this book. We actually were reading it once at the bar of a Brooklyn restaurant, and we very swiftly managed to pick up the Chef, who kept trotting out to the bar to chit chat. He was a smoothe operator... on seeing the book, he said, "If you like Pork and Sons, I need to loan you my charcuterie book... but I have to get your phone number as collaterol."

G: What are you listening to while you cook (and for that matter, eat)?

BB: The Mets game. Creedence. Skynrd. Beach House. Tom Waits. Sonic Youth. Wooden Shjips.

G: What should be on the menu, including beverages?

BB: That suckling pig sounds pretty good right now. You'll want to ask your butcher to reserve the liver and heart for you, which you chop with some smoked bacon and mix with fresh bread crumbs, eggs, olive oil, garlic, fresh herbs (sage, parsley, rosemary, whatever looks good), and stuff that in the pig. This takes about three hours on a spit, which means you'll have plenty of time to down some Pork Slap to keep it thematic (plus beer in cans in a necessity when cooking outdoors).

Baste the suckling pig with a mixture of white wine (get something drinkable because you'll use about 4 cups and finish the rest; it'll mix fine with the Pork Slap), olive oil and a few dabs of Dijon. When there is only about 20 minutes to half an hour left to go on the pig, wrap some corn ears (pull out as much of the silk as you can but do not husk; throw a pat of butter inside the husk) in foil and toss around the edges of the fire where they'll cook but not get flamed. Open another case of Pork Slap.

"All of our Bloody Marys come with a beer back"

On a Sunday morning, that is music to my ears.

Bear witness:
The Publican Bloody Mary with Tito's vodka, Publican mix, housemade celery bitters, and...
Killer Kowalski Baltic Porter, Flossmoor Station (Flossmoor, Illinois)

Our neighbors at our communal table said that the beer back is standard practice in Wisconsin. Let's make it standard practice everywhere!

We took our beer-backed Bloody Mary with dried fig crumb cake and a cherry scone to start. Thereafter, scrapple with fried egg and sourdough (think cornmeal and pig part mash), a housemade pork roll sandwich, and a waffle with honey butter and market blueberries. We rounded out our brunch with a bowl of fresh made ricotta, poached cherries, pistachios and beer bread.

oink oink, from Chicago.

The Publican

837 West Fulton Market

Chicago, IL 60607

312-733-9555

Open for brunch on Sundays starting at 10, when the Bloodies are ready right away.

The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

Dear Nigella Lawson,

Ok, ok, we admit it: We have a huge, gigantic girl crush on you.

I mean, just look at you...

The otherworldly Nigella Lawson

...

While we were watching you on last night's Top Chef, we were totally wishing that you would come over to our house for a slumber party, and we could play dress up and drink tea and eat cookie dough and braid each others' hair. But more to the point, we were wondering what we would possibly make for you for breakfast, just like those cheftestants had to. And, then, of course, we realized we would make a breakfast leftover version of our very favorite recipe of yours. Ham in Cherry Coke! We'd serve it with fried mashed potatoes and a runny egg. Seriously, Nigella, we've made this recipe at least 10 times, and let us tell you, everyone always raves. It's the weirdest thing, but it is seriously scrumptious. So we think if we made it for you, you'd get a good chuckle, and in exchange maybe we'd get a knowing wink of approval.

Always,

Daphne and the girls

Totally awesome bottlecap earrings from Sassy Sentiments

...

Ham in Cherry Coke

Our Go-To Crowd Pleaser Recipe

Seriously, Everyone, You Should Really Try It

...

Adapted from Nigella Lawson's Feast: Food to Celebrate Life

...

Ingredients

- The biggest bone-in ham you can find

- A whole bunch of 2-liter bottles of Cherry Coke

- The biggest pot you can find... ours is a lobster pot that we bought on the cheap in Chinatown. It has to be big enough to fit the ham (obvs)

...

Methods

- Fit the ham in the pot, cover with water, and bring the water to a boil. Drain the water. This will eliminate any salty unsavoryness.

- Fit the ham back in the pot, cover with Cherry Coke, and bring the Cherry Coke to a boil. Reduce to a simmer. Cook and cook and cook the ham, letting the little porker soak up all of the smoky sweet cola goodness. (For every pound account for about 30 minutes of cooking time; a 6-lb ham will take about 3 hours, give or take.) As the Cherry Coke reduces, just keep pouring more in to cover the ham as well as you can.

- Take the pot off the stove, place it in the sink, and carefully remove the piping hot ham, placing it onto a serving tray. By now, the crowds will be swarming around.

...

N.B. Nigella, we know that you recommend to glaze the ham with cherry jam and cloves and to roast it for 15 minutes after removing from the pot, but every time we make the ham, we can't resist just eating it right then and there, glazeless, naked, and quivering.

PIG, by Roald Dahl

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.

What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, "By gum, I've got the answer!"
"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops
"To put in all the butcher's shops!
"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that's the part'll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!
"The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"

Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.

Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I'd better eat him first."

Pig Love

Dear April Bloomfield,

When are you going to stop nestling up to this pig, and start serving dinner at The Breslin?

We understand that you are very busy with the preparations for the grand opening, but don't you understand that we really, really want to sit at the banquet of your table and feast on your divine delights? I mean, when we visited the lobby of The Ace Hotel last night, we thought it was pretty neat... but we kept angling our high-backed vintage library chair just so, hoping that we could peer through the windows to see if there was any way we could get inside. Yes, those windows behind you and super-hunk Ken Friedman. (Ken, if you're reading this, will you marry us?)

If, as according to BlackBook, you're already offering roasted poussin with pomegranate and pumpkin seeds, and a char-grilled beef tongue sandwich with lentil soup at lunch, what could possibly await us at the dinner hour??? We were lucky enough to have a very luxurious charcuterie tray, which, thanks to also hunky Joshua David Stein and the paper of record, is annotated for us here. (But why did you charge us $2 for extra bread? Even though we adore you, we call party foul.)

The point is, April, you look a-dor-able snuggling up with the little porker, but we want to, as you said in 2003, start getting snacky! Call us when you're ready!

Respectfully yours,
The Girls of Gastronomista