HuffPo: Spring Cleaning! 5 Kitchen Tools Every Gastronomista Needs... to Throw Away

Ah, Spring! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, our kitchen is...

A mess.

An overwhelming, drawer-bulging, disorganized mess. Our motto with food is often, "more is more," but when it comes to our kitchen, our cabinets overfloweth, and our anxiety groweth.

Thus we present to you a short guide to help other Gastronomistas separate the wheat from the chaff. We suggest you grab an Extra Large Hefty bag and get to tossing!

The Apple Slicer



We’ve got to hand it to this gizmo - it makes a pleasing sound when tossed backwards over our heads. Otherwise, we can’t see how this item is useful. When it’s new and sharp enough to actually cut through an apple, it will unfailingly leave you with at least 30% of the core. After 5 uses, though, it no longer even deigns to slice without prodigious elbow grease. Our advice? Pick up a knife. Or, hey, get a little wild - eat that apple whole!

The Rice Steamer



Ah, the Rice Steamer: a large, cumbersome, plastic device that takes up a lot of space and makes only rice. Guess what else is a rice steamer? A pot. A pot is also kind enough to agree to cook other things, from stews to pasta. Kick that rice steamer to the curb. Think of all of the cabinet space you'll free up for genuinely useful items.

The Tea Ball



This item is perfect for tea enthusiasts who love picking leaves out of their teeth. The concept is great, and we adore the lack of waste, but sadly, this item just never, ever works.

The Salad Spinner



We know we will incite the rage of many home chefs by insulting this item, but hear us out. Our kitchens just aren't that large. A Salad Spinner is. Use a colander and a kitchen towel to wash and dry your leaves, then reward yourself by buying a nice big salad bowl that you suddenly have storage space for.

The Egg Cracker



Cracking eggs! SO HARD, are we right? No... we're not. If you can't successfully crack an egg without a spring-loaded device, please, for the sake of us all, get out of the kitchen. Run, don't walk. The infomercial for this gizmo is very useful, though... for a laugh.

Won't You Stay for Tupper, Dear?

Our mothers have always been ladies with the utmost in social graces - why, they taught us genteel Gastronomistas everything they know. But sometimes we wonder how on Earth they did it without modern technology - how do you invite friends over for a last-minute cocktail party without a mass text message? And who has the patience to hand-write invitations to dinner, let alone buy a book of stamps? Our social - and gustatory - lives would be dead without Facebook, Twitter, and email.

But the concept of a social network is nothing novel. Why, just look at Tupperware. What began long ago as a direct sales scheme for housewives to earn some independent income quickly became a storied opportunity to convene, commiserate, and engage in a bit of commerce.

With this notion in mind, we attended the incredible Tupper Club party in the penthouse of the Setai residences on Fifth Avenue the other night. The prescribed theme for the evening was “The Art of Conversation,” and instead of Jell-o molds and artfully preserved leftovers, Tupperware called in the big guns: recent James Beard Award winner Chef Michael White of Marea. We went armed with eager appetites and witty repartee.

As expected, the food was spectacular - Chef White cooked to impress. The loveliest surprise of all, though, was the company. Between bites of succulent Nova Scotia lobster dolloped with milky burrata, we traded names and stories of how we lucked into the invite.

Over the second course, we easily confided to the young journo beside us that we wouldn’t kick that Shrimp and Calamari Cavatelli off of our plate any day.

By the time the veal loin with pancetta cream sauce arrived, we had plans for a group pizza crawl through Brooklyn. The end of the meal saw us washing down bites of Rhum Baba with Oddero Moscato d’Asti and reminiscing about the avocado-green Tupperware vessels of our youth.

Remember that durable pitcher we used to fill with Country Time lemonade to shill on the corner? Sure, we were looking to make some extra candy money, but we were mostly hoping to catch up with our friends and neighbors, to convene and commiserate. Isn’t that what Tupperware is all about?

In that spirit, we left the Setai with full stomachs, a bevy of modern plastic vessels, and a group of new friends to invite over for dinner. Of course, we’ll have to find them on Facebook.

Gastronomista's Guide to Winter Hibernation

There's no denying the truth: it's winter. And what are you going to do about it? Hole up for the weekend and hibernate. This is the Gastronomista girls' guide for to staying cozy, warm and satiated during your winter weekend's hibernation. Hot Toddies, cheesy pigs in their blankets, Brussels sprouts in hazelnut brown butter, kettle corn balls, clementines, and a lover.

Check it out at the Huffington Post here.

 

Image via waysideviolet.  You too can have a sweater for your mug.

What's Your Hair of the Dog?

The Manhattan Cocktail Classic Gala. We went. We saw. We conquered. We still have a headache.

And now we ask you to weigh in over at The Huffington Post, where we chronicled it all... So, do tell, what's your hair of the dog?

John Sinish, the Oompa Loompa on the left of the photo below, attended the events, and he'd be drinking buffalo grass vodka in his backyard the next morning. Head on over to the HuffPo food section for more of the merriment.